


It's Over,Four Months

by SCOREFirrree



Series: Mickey/Ian songfic's [1]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M, Mentioned rape - season 3, Season 3/4, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-12
Updated: 2015-02-12
Packaged: 2018-03-12 03:24:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3341759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SCOREFirrree/pseuds/SCOREFirrree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ian's been gone for four months. Mickey reminisces about everything from the beginning, leading to the wedding. To Ian leaving.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Over,Four Months

**Author's Note:**

> This is my take on the situation from that season and a bit into season four. Also a song I think fits with them in this situation.
> 
>  
> 
> _Nicki Minaj - I lied_

Four months. Four long months he's been without Ian.

 

Lying on his back with a bottle of whiskey, Mickey looks around the room.

Everything's fucking changed. Just looking around the room shows that.

Thinking about Ian...that's all he's been fucking doing, is thinking about **Ian.**

From the first time that Ian and him fucked, he knew he was in deep shit. The risk of Terry almost finding out made him even more paranoid.

Thinking back, when he knew he was falling for him. "I miss you." No one's ever missed him. Tried to get rid of him, yeah. He's used to that.

But now Ian's gone so... he shouldn't be worrying about this shit, let alone be thinking about it.

 

_Even though I said don’t touch me I lied, I lied_

 

Remembering the day at the abandoned building, makes him sick."Get the fuck off me."

 

But what the fuck did Ian except? For them to run off into the sunset, singing fucking love songs?

 

_I can’t fall for you, can’t give my all to you_

 

_Can’t let you think that Imma let the game stall for you_

 

_Gotta protect me, you gotta sweat me_

 

How the fuck could he not see that I was protecting him?

Us.

But it's not about me. It's never about me. No one's ever fucking protected me. I protect myself, I've _always_ had to protect myself.

_You said you thought you was ready and I said let’s see_

 

_But I ain’t mean that, I need some fucking proof_

 

Ian's words, "You love me, and you're gay."  
I think him sticking his dick in me kinda proved that last one. Hell, it's not like he ever proved that he loved me.

Millions of times I have. Getting shot twice, protecting him from my dad, getting raped by the whore, and being forced to marry Svetlana.

_Cause what happens if I fall in love then you cut me loose_

 

_You just a heart breaker won’t let you break mine_

 

It's one thing to....to love someone. It's a whole fucking universe and a bomb waiting to happen to admit it.

It's another thing to have someone tell you that you love them. And they know it. You know it. But they leave anyways.

 

_'Cause I’ll be smashing windows and cutting them break lines_

 

The bottle goes hurling to the other side of the room shattering. "It's over." he whispers.

 

_Even though I said fuck you, I lied, I lied_

 

_I thought eventually you would let me go_

 

_That was my insecurities and my ego_

 

He left. Just how Mickey knew he would. "Not like this, not while everything is fucked." Breathing hard, he let out a harsh, shaky sigh.

He wasn't gonna act like a needy bitch, and beg for him to stay.

 

_Missed my jump shot, missed my free throw_

 

_Miss the way we kiss, miss the D yo_

 

He made his choice. I made mine. Only problem is I could have stopped him. But then what?

Risk the chance of being killed again?

But I would've still been with Ian fucking on the side while Svetlana did her own thing.That would've been enough for me.

Just having him here. There's a difference between me and her...I actually give a fuck.

 

_Man it was good while it lasted_

 

_That shit wasn’t real it was magic_

 

_If it was a record it would have been classic_

 

_But fuck you though, orgasmic_

 

Ian's what makes me free. The one person I could be myself with. No lies or pain attached. "Fuck him." He says disgusted and angry with himself. With Ian.

 

_I guess this is what I gotta do to keep me from falling_

 

_Stalling the truth, who knew what you would do if I let you in_

 

Attacking Ian...was me doing what I had to do, to get him to back off.

I just wanted to forget. Escape from this shit hole for awhile. Not sit and talk out my feelings or even think about telling him that I...

 

_My father ain’t raised no fool, I_

 

_I'm not your usual typical type_

 

_Who would protect me if I never hide?_

 

_Falling so fast I'm afraid of you_

 

May be fucked for life, but I'm not stupid.

One thing I learned from living with Terry was to never show weakness.

Never show you actually give a fuck. Especially in front of him.

Ian's got it easy. His family accepts him, they don't give a shit. The only person who wouldn't judge him is Mandy.

 

_I lied_

 

_'Cause who knew that if I just let myself go with you_

 

Closing his eyes, he feels numb.

 

"It's over now...goodbye love."

Putting his hand over his eyes squeezing, to keep himself from crying. Tears leaked out.

 

"You'll stay...you'll stay in my heart... forever."


End file.
